Lady Town

You want a what?

Here’s the deal: I love my birthday. I grew up with a single Mom who made a really, really big deal out of my birthdays. She’d buy me a new dress each year and fill the whole day with so much love that by the end of the night, I would pop with love.

So, my 30th birthday? I really wasn’t feeling it. Oh, I definitely wore a new outfit and had cake and all that, but the year leading up to my 30th was felt with a sense of doom that my 20’s were almost over. I’m not even sure why I felt so sorry for my 20’s to end. Lots of crazy bad stuff went down in the first half of them so it’s not like I was hoping to relive them again. I guess it was just the feeling of being 30. THIRTY. Like maybe I was supposed to know better? I’m wiser than I was at 20, but just because I have a husband, kid, and now a house with a fence doesn’t make me all that smart. But I digress…

I decided that I wanted two things for my birthday. One, a tattoo. More on that later. Two, a bikini wax.

Let me bring you back a few months. I was sitting at the hair salon when I overheard the receptionist talking about her bikini wax appointment later on that night. She said it as casual as she would say, “Oh yeah, I’m going to brush my hair later.”  Obviously it wasn’t the first time I had heard of such a thing, but I didn’t realize it wasn’t always treated with fear and panic attacks. Did she know someone was going to put hot wax on her lady town and pull the hairs out of it? Anyways, I asked her where she went to get it done and she told me of a place called Bombshell in Carytown. Then she proceeds to tell me that she never has to shave and that when her hair does grown in, it grows in softer and thinner. Oh, and that her sex life has never been better. I was officially interested. Not that my sex life is bad. (Hi, babe!) But 30 marks a woman’s sexual prime, so I was ready to get all primal. 

I, like many women, have been shaving my bikini line for over ten years. I’m not sure if my Mom warned me about the problems with shaving (it grows in faster and fuller), but even if she did, I definitely did not listen. I can’t remember the last time my hair has been soft down there and when I haven’t had to shave every week. Well, except for when I was pregnant and didn’t see my vagina for a good 4 months. So when this idea of not only not having to shave, but also having better sex was introduced to me, I did what any good librarian would do and research the crap out of it.

Turns out, there is a reason we have pubic hair. It protects lady town from bacteria and keeps it warm. When you shave it/wax it/laser it, you may be in danger of getting an infection. That said, there are many middle eastern countries that have been getting rid of hair down there for like a billion years, so if it’s safe there, surely it’s fine here. It has also been documented as far back as 1500 AD in Brazil that women didn’t have hair on their vaginas. Though technically, the “Brazilian Wax” was named by some brazilian sisters in Manhattan in the 1980’s. End of history lesson.

Knowing what I was getting myself into, I called and made my appointment with Kimberly at Bombshell. If you spend 5 minutes researching places in Richmond, you’ll find her name mentioned more than anyone. I had to allow for a month hair growth, so I made my appointment for a few weeks after my birthday. Done.

HOLY CRAP. I WAS VOLUNTARILY GETTING THE HAIR PULLED OUT OF MY VAGINA WITH HOT WAX.

I met my Mom the evening of my appointment so that she could watch my daughter. Before we parted my Mom says to V, “Okay honey. Let’s go and let your Mom get…pretty.”

Meeting Kimberly was just as I expected. She was wonderful and warm and made it so easy taking off my clothes and spreading my legs. She assured me that she did this every day, all day, and that it wasn’t a big deal if I couldn’t do it. I especially loved the moment when she asked me if I knew what a brazilian wax was. Clearly she didn’t know me very well. She said, “You know I will be removing all of your hair from your labia to your butt, right?” Like a crazy woman, I nervously said, “Yes!”

Earlier than evening and as instructed, I took ibuprofen and used this magical cream called No Scream Cream. As a redhead, I’m used to having to take extra precautions when dealing with pain so I definitely was prepared for the worst. At Bombshell they use stripless wax that sticks only to the hair and not the skin, so it’s as painless as possible. They also do not double-dip their sticks, which is like a HUGE no-no. If you’re going to go anywhere else, I would definitely ask about these things.

She had me lay in frog position, which is basically on your back with your knees dropped and feet touching. Nothing sexier than that position, let me tell you. She started on the outside and worked her way in and assured me that we could stop at any point. I think the worst part was waiting for the first strip. I’m telling you honestly that it was not bad AT ALL. You know how the bottom of your eyebrow always hurts a little more than the top? Well, the outside sections of your vagina is definitely like the top of your eyebrow. You feel pulling, but definitely not a major sting. It wasn’t until she got to the inside of lady town, that I will say it stung. That said, I never once felt the need for her to stop nor did I cry or scream. It was honestly just a few “under the eyebrow” moments and it was done. Actually, the worst part was the position for the anal waxing which required me to pull my knees to my chest. God, THAT was awful. Not painful in the least bit but one hell of an embarrassing experience.

Afterwards I was so excited to never have to shave again and to go home and have sex (after 24 hours) with my lovely husband. Now, the tradeoff is that I have to go back in 4 weeks and have it done again, but after that, I can wait every 6-8 weeks and I’ll never have as much hair growth as I did the first time. They also recommend using an exfoliating glove on your lady town to help with ingrown hairs. All not very high maintenance if you ask me. It was $45 well spent.

I’m happy to say that so far, everything the receptionist said is very true. Hello sexual prime!

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One thought on “You want a what?

  1. Kimberly is Amazing ! I love her so much. For those who don’t know her, y’all should know that she is so gentle and patient with you. And let’s not forget about the price. It’s so much cheaper than other places (!!! ) Oh, and if you’re worried that the place is not clean, you’ve got nothing to worry about. The place is really clean/nice looking 🙂

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