Granny T Stories

My Mom, Ladies and Gentlemen

My Mom’s church created a cookbook a couple years ago. It’s probably one of the best cookbooks I own and it’s filled with some of the easiest, yet tastiest comfort foods ever invented. It also contains a most beloved chicken and vegetable soup that has been passed down in our family. This soup is filled with vegetables and chicken and like any true southern soup, is also just a little sweet. My Mom brought a huge pot of it over after V was born and I remember eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The directions are written by my Mom and I can’t imagine a document personifying my Mom better than this one does. The recipe is too detailed and hilarious which is pretty much how every conversation with Mom goes. I told her the other day that after she dies, I know I’ll always be able to read the recipe when I miss her.

Then last night happened. My Mom left for Italy today with my cousin and she sent me an email with instructions for the next two weeks. I now have two documents that perfectly represent my wonderfully-unique Mom.

Please enjoy.

Hello, both of you
 
Here are some details you might benefit from:
 
I’ve got a box with what you need to take home for Laika:
 
1/2 tablet of the hard tablet twice a day; morning and evening. If she won’t take it from your hand, just put some peanut butter on it and thrust it into her mouth. Greg witnessed the scientific technique.
 
Peanut butter
 
1 zinc tablet anytime during the day
 
salve for ears: hold down her earlobe, all the while chanting, good dog, Laika; good dog…while placing the tip of the salve into her ear canal and squirting one time. Then comes the gross part of putting a dollop of salve on your finger–dollop should be about the size of a fat M and M; rub this around her inner ear flat–the part of the ear that would be comparable to what we think of as, well, our EAR, inner parts excluded.
 
1 c. of dogfood a day; I left you a new bag and you can finish up the one she has here while you’re here.
 
Her leash isn’t in the bag, but remember it.
 
I’ve set up automatic payments for my Nordstrom Visa, Amazon (which will be paid off as of Oct. 25), and my Citibank; I’m taking two new cards to Italy, so those bills would come in the mail should I decided to marry the Hapsburg prince and stay over there. My Paris box is out-of-date and my code to my old laptop,where you’d find a lot of info you’d need, is probably lost to Greg. I don’t dare put the code on the Internet, so pray I don’t marry the prince and leave you with too much to figure out. If Mama hadn’t fallen, I’d certainly haveall this in order, but she did, so I couldn’t think at all about the possibility of my not returning. Let’s hope the prince is gay.
 
I can give you this hint: She does include hints here, but I’m not going to include them on the internets either. If you get bored here, you can try to get into my computers. That would be fun.
 
Greg, thank you–grazie mille–for the job you and your dad did. I am so very grateful to you for taking away that possibility of a mishap for Mama.
 
Mama’s a very nice patient, much nicer fallen than standing firm. I don’t mean that in a mean way. It’s just the truth. She seems to think I’m a very fine human being when she’s sick. But I’d rather have her recalcitrant and standing.^#(^ it wasn't me
 
You are both angels. Remind Vivi when I’ll see her next. Greg, she has a nature lesson at Rockwood Park thiscoming Tuesday at 10:00; takes about 50 minutes to find it, the way I drive. It’s at the nature center in the back of the park. If you want to take her, great; she’d have to miss school, but big deal, really. When I return, I can take her to the rest of her nature lessons, but if you take her and see how excited she is about nature, you might not want me to take her anymore! If you decide not to take her, that’s okay. I’d like to encourage her to play hookey when I return, if you approve.
 
That’s it for now.
 
Love to you both–oh, and Loftan (you know what’s coming, don’t you, Beebop): Golden Girls.
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